Signs You May Need Professional Help in Your Relationship
Relationships are complex and require effort from both partners. Sometimes even with such intention, issues can mount, and professional help may be necessary. Here are some signs that suggest seeking professional assistance could benefit your relationship.
1. Persistent Conflicts
Persistent conflicts keep coming up without resolution, creating a cycle of frustration and emotional exhaustion. Unlike occasional disagreements, which can be worked through, persistent conflicts often feel stuck; like the same argument is happening over and over with no real progress.
One common cause is unmet needs. If one partner doesn’t feel heard or valued, they may continue bringing up the same concerns, hoping for change. Over time conflicts may escalate in intensity or frequency.
A key to breaking this cycle is recognizing deeper patterns. Are both partners truly listening? Are past hurts fuelling present conflicts? Sometimes, unresolved emotions from earlier disagreements, past relationships or even childhood can make certain topics more charged.
Addressing persistent conflicts in a way that facilitates deeper understanding and connection requires openness and patience. Outside help can enable you both focus beyond the surface-level argument, to exploring the emotions and deeper needs driving the conflict.
2. Communication Breakdown
Avoiding difficult conversations can be just as damaging to a relationship as engaging in frequent high conflict. While open conflict can be stressful, at least it signals that issues are being acknowledged. Avoidance, on the other hand, fosters a lack of open and honest communication, often leading to unresolved tensions that silently erode trust, intimacy, and emotional connection.
When difficult topics are consistently avoided, resentment can build beneath the surface. Partners may feel unheard, invalidated and/or emotionally disconnected. An undercurrent of dissatisfaction can develop that eventually leads to emotional withdrawal or even the breakdown of the relationship. Avoiding tricky topics or difficult conversations, though it may not be as obvious as persistent conflict, is a sign that you might need professional help. Addressing difficult topics may feel uncomfortable in the moment but supported by a professional, it can strengthen your relationship in the long run.
3. Trust Issues
Whether due to infidelity, secrecy or dishonesty it’s possible for trust to crumble. Even the sense that your partner puts themselves above you and your relationship can cause trust within the relationship to be eroded over time. Loss of trust severely strains a relationship. The Gottmans identified Trust as a pillar required for holding the whole relationship secure. When trust is damaged it can be hard to have the friendship you once had or to manage conflict well. It can set up a dynamic in which both partners are more aligned with their own interests, rather than working as a team for the relationship.
If trust has been undermined it’s essential that it’s restored. Repairing betrayals, learning how to prioritise the relationship, and being open and honest in communication are key. Whether you’re dealing with an incident that has been like a wrecking ball smashing into your relationship or whether you’re dealing with the more subtle erosion of trust over time, professional help can provide a safe space to rebuild trust. If trust has been broken and you’re struggling to rebuild it on your own, it’s a clear sign that professional help is needed.
4. Changes in Intimacy
A significant decrease in physical or emotional intimacy, or a mismatch in sexual desires, can benefit from professional support to explore underlying causes and solutions. It may indicate deeper issues such as unresolved conflicts, stress or disconnection. A lack of intimacy can lead to feelings of rejection, loneliness, or resentment, which can further strain the relationship. Sometimes, life changes such as: having children, experiencing work pressures, or developing health problems, can also impact intimacy. When couples struggle to communicate their needs or feel stuck in a cycle of frustration, seeking guidance from a professional can help.
A therapist provides a safe space to explore concerns, improve communication, and rebuild emotional and physical closeness. Addressing these changes early can prevent further distance and help partners reconnect in a meaningful way.
5. External Stressors
External stressors, like financial difficulties, work pressure, or family issues, can significantly impact relationships. As individuals struggle to cope, they might become less supportive or withdraw from each other, causing feelings of loneliness and resentment. In these situations, couples therapy can be beneficial by providing a neutral space to address issues, improve communication, and strengthen connection. It helps couples develop strategies to manage stress together, enhancing their resilience as a team.
Facing external stressors and feeling like you don’t have each other’s back is a sign that you could benefit from couples therapy.
6. Considering Separation
Considering separation can be an incredibly distressing and emotional experience. It’s natural to feel overwhelmed, uncertain and extremely anxious when facing such a significant decision. Whether the relationship has been struggling for some time or recent challenges have created distance, it can be difficult to know what the best path forward is.
This is where Discernment Counselling can help. Unlike traditional couples therapy, which usually focuses on strengthening the relationship, Discernment Counselling is designed for partners who are unsure whether to stay together or separate. A trained professional provides a supportive, structured space where both individuals can explore their concerns, understand their relationship dynamics, and gain clarity about their next steps.
Through guided conversations, couples can reflect on their challenges, assess the possibility of meaningful change, and make a thoughtful, informed decision about working towards reconciliation or parting ways with greater understanding, clarity and confidence in their decision. Seeking professional support during this time can ease the emotional burden and facilitate decision making in a space of care and support.
What to do about it
Reach out and find out more about what’s involved in couples therapy and how professional support can help you and your partner. The above scenarios are just some of the examples that indicate you and your partner could benefit from couples counselling. Addressing issues early, rather than leaving them until significant hurts and entrenched patterns have developed is likely to mean that you’re able to work through the challenges more quickly and more easily. It also means that you’re likely to enjoy the benefits of therapy; a healthier, happier relationship, sooner.
Something brought you to reading this article… I encourage you to reach out and get caring, professional support. You, your partner and your relationship are worth it!
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